my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
