If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
