your thong is hanging out like whoa
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
