Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
