everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
