I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize