I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
