thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
