Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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