I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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