Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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