thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
