Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
