you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
