Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
