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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.

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• (707): View more from California

  last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage

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• (925): View more from California

  The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves

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• (707): View more from California

  New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was a sexy soul patch.

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• (714): View more from California

  I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.

  (1-714): View more from California

  DAD WTF

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.

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• (310): View more from California

  If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again

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