The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
