I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I got inside last night via doggy door
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
