I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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