Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
