it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
