I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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