Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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