UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
