I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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