Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
