So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
