he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
