i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
