So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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