I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
