margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
