its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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