the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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