i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
