I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
