WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
