I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
