Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Randomize
