So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
