i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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