I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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