I'm really into asian looking animals
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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