The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i came on her dog
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
