I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
babies were throwing up all over the place
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
