The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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