you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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