HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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