that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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