Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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