The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
