Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
