Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
