You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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