just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
