I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
