I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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