I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
