so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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